Bidding adieu

So the date has been finalized, June 11th  will be my last day. I finished my last experiment (ran a real time PCR experiment end of May). I am moving away from benchwork and basic science into hopefully a career in global health.

You see, two things happened over the course of these last few years during my postdoctoral years- on the positive side, my social mindedness was taking over my thoughts and driving me toward a path where I wanted to be directly involved in making people’s lives better, hence the Master of Public Health from Johns Hopkins (yes I did graduate people, this May in fact!). And two, a negative feeling with regards to biological research in general was setting in. I was starting to feel the pressure of “publish or perish” culture. This absolutely did not sit well with me especially since all I wanted to do was have fun doing science and that was getting harder and harder to do.

One positive and one a very negative feeling (I might elaborate a bit more when I am ready to spin it in a less negative tone): I am glad the positive one took over. I have finished my public health program and I have decided to move on into a global health career.

This decision has not been easy but it never will be especially since what I will be giving up is something that I have immensely enjoyed and something that is a part of who I was, who I am and who I will be. Now that I think about it: if there has been a constant in my life- that would be my love for biology.

As human beings, we are naturally curious and this curiosity is exactly what drives people into scientific pursuit; there is no better way to scratch that curiosity itch if you will. While I was always the nerdy curious kid, I never thought I would get to spend almost 15 years of my adult life (20 if you include my undergraduate years!) trying to figure out what goes within us, delving deeper and deeper within each of our cells.

Now for some cliches: All good things must come to an end; Change is the only constant thing (and any other that you can think of)

I do feel guilty about leaving all this behind- guilty because I am leaving behind what I know best; guilty because there are unfinished experiments that I am going to thrust on other people in the lab (of course there is no end to the experiments); guilty because I would not be earning for a little while and have to rely on my spouse for finances. But beyond all this contrition is the excitement, excitement about having to learn things that are out of my comfort zone (keeps my mind sharp a.k.a  terrifying!), excitement about getting to travel and volunteering with some cool organizations, excitement about the challenging opportunities that might come my way- I am ready as ever as I will be.

I am fortunate that I have had excellent scientific/academic mentors. I am also extremely lucky to have spent all these years in different labs with lab members who have become much more than colleagues.

All in all, in the end, I am glad and truly grateful that I was in control of this change, that when the time was right, I was able to make a decision- such things rarely happen in my life. Usually I am just thrown into situations and I hate making decisions!

Indeed, come June 11th, I will be hanging up my lab coat, for now anyway :)

Gandhi said “Be the change that you wish to see in the world" and I hope to achieve exactly that even in some miniscule form. 

Wish me luck y'all...