Sunday, December 31


Sort of my contribution on this post by Kavitha.
I do too- everytime I refer to someone as my friend, I think about what exactly qualifies as this relationship that we share. I realize it is plain hard for me to make anything meaningful out of even a short 2-min telephonic conversations. I cannot even imagine how it might be if I were to meet my "friend" in person. It does not matter if it is this girl from school who was mistaken for a long time to be my twin or that guy from college I could not imagine being separated from- I simply dread meeting them in person after so many lost years! What to do you say to each other beyond the niceties of "hi, its been long or hi, how is life?!" Ah, those awkward moments!!
As Kavitha writes in her comments- I still don't understand why I am staying put. I might sound negative but its going to get worse- those ugly moments of stuttering and stammering, unsure of how you could have been inseparables in your distant past, when now, you cannot even look at each other with the same old excitement. I am not sure I recognize these people now, they have changed and so have I. It is not even the distance, even people who I see everyday- I don't know them anymore (so its something unfathomable I guess). I want it all to be the same again fully aware that it never will be (oh well, what is life without hope). But unlike many others who can persist... I feel sad when I think about those "friends" that I don't have anymore. Thats right I don't see any point in persistence. Well sometimes I do and sometimes I don't and may be that is why I am staying put. Whatever said and done,
Men may come and men may go but I go on forever (My favorite poem)!!
For all you who can persist- GO FOR IT, I am sure it will be worth it!

Tuesday, December 26

Indian movies- a feeling of disgust?!

I did not in my wildest dreams think that I would dedicate a post to Indian movies , oh well I guess watching this new movie Don was the trigger. I love both Hindi and Tamil movies (I like Hindi movies better!). When I am watching a movie (English, Indian or any other foreign movie) I hardly expect anything, so even if it is a mindless movies I can watch it (there are still quite a lot of those that seem to escape my tolerable limits!). Anyway this post is not about how awful, disgusting or even mindless Indian movies may be (I don't seem to think they are that bad). This post is more dedicated towards the role of bollywood and kollywood movies in our lives. Haven't we all as teenagers spent a considerable amount of time watching movies with our friends, talking about actors and even humming all those songs on the Super hit Muqabla show. I am sure those moments have become a part of our fond memories. So once we are "here", our tastes improve and we now like to watch classy movies which have good stories or actors or even fight scenes! But that's about it- there are no memories involved with these classy movies. In fact I can hardly associate movies I watch here with any of my friends but I can remember almost every movie I watched back home when I was in college ( I must say I was hardly a movie-watcher back then). There are events associated with each those of trips to the cinema hall and the events come to life when I hear a song from that particular movie or see a scene from that movie. If these movies have such an impact on our lives there is no reason to feel disgusted or have an attitude about watching an Indian movie. For all you know the next time you watch one- it might just be the best 3 hours, best day, best year or even the best moments of your life.

Sunday, December 24

Art and therapy

Here is the much awaited verdict- any art form is therapeutic (yeah right as though the world was awaiting my judgement on it!!) No really, art forms- music, painting, cooking (note this has been added to the new version of top ten art forms that can sure you of your "depressed mind and soul") etc. can really save some of your worst days. You get depressed too often or you end up with a heavy heart after a marathon thinking session about the "world" in general, just try and do "something" that you have wanted to do for a long time and never got to it. The challenging task (now that is the toughest believe me!!) is to push yourself to do that "something". But once you do it, its very satisfying and you feel light. I am sure all of us have days where we just sit down on that damn couch staring at that TV spewing out random people and places. You might also be wondering as to why on earth you are watching this goddamn show that no one else watches EVER. On those days if you achieve the first step of willing/wanting to get out of it the next obvious step- try making a card or a piece of jewelry or even donuts!

Monday, December 11

World news people

I knew when they say "world news" (FOX, ABC...any channel) its not really world news. The media here (at least the local media here) seems to have a skewed vision of the world limited only to the United States and may be Iraq! But today my patience was pushed to its limits. The only world in the abc world news was "John somebody has been training some of the most expensive horses from around the WORLD" and that was it. I am not exaggerating folks. Can you imagine they have all these adverts claiming that their respective world news reports are the best. Seriously if the world news can stretch only up to kentucky derby horse races, I am sorry there is something seriously wrong!! Don't y'all agree?!!!

For all of you who want to eat a cake right now...

Yesterday I did give in and made the damn cake.....I have been wanting to try this cake
for a long time now. So I did, only it took me about 3 weeks to get to it and trust me it was worth the long wait!! The cake turned out awesome. For all you bakers out there...this might seem like a mockery of all baked goods and the good hearted corner bakery store guy, but for me its "yeh! I can make a cake". Just as one thing leading to another now I am waiting to lay my hands on bigger better stuff....and make a grand entry into the "World of wondrous fresh smelling baked goodies".

Don't be scared...go on make this cake!

Wednesday, December 6

Something to be happy about

I could not sleep after 5AM this morning- the reason "my parents 2nd visa interview". Yeah second interview, their visa was rejected the first time because the officers thought I could not support my parents with my meagre earning. Anyway back to my story- I tossed and turned waiting for their call. I was trying to call them but in vain. I thought that my parents were upset and so apdiye beechangarai pakkam poyittanga (you should read with a particular intonation that will make it sound funnier, anyway "so they decided to spend some time by the beach"- for Tamil illiterates). At about 8AM my mum finally called- she sounded so excited that no one can mistake it for anything else. She said "kedaichiruchu!!" and then ofcourse she went to describe the meeting.
From what ever she said- I sort of found this strange connection between the consulate officers and external examiners who come during final lab practical exams. I remember hearing all the time- everything depends on the external "avanga veetla sandai pottutu vantha namma gali" (if they are in a bad mood, we are done for!). Same goes for the consular.....and me like an idiot made double the effort to ensure a green signal for my parents

Friday, December 1

We were not this way before

Beware: a random, possibly depressing tale

Her friend from college, Em, who is her roommate now, came back from her vacation yesterday. They spoke exactly four sentences. It seemed a little odd to her that she kept count of it. Em and she had been great friends in college, they were in the same dorm and they went through all the best times together. But now, it seemed to her that they have moved so far apart that they don't even consider sharing important decisions of their lives with one another (Well she knew she was never good at that- she was not a great conversationalist). She was more of the silent character while Em had been the outspoken one!
What happened that had changed all of this, all the nice times they had- why didn't Em realize that there was a long time well wisher out there who wants to know about her life and the decisions she makes (not in the decision making process though..). She has been through such episodes of feeling betrayed, she thought that those episodes gave her the emotional strength that she has right now. This tryst with Em brought back memories that she has pushed to one corner of her mind! She had gone through such episodes of feeling betrayed. She had felt like a train station- only here the arrivals and departures seemed unannounced. As a teenager, she thought of it as a bad way- she felt like she had the powers of driving people away but as a wise, mature woman she has learnt the art of waxing and waning with the people that brush past her life. Although her heart yearns for a close-knit circle of friends with whom she can be carefree and herself, she has learnt to live her life the way it is. She jolted from her seat, realizing her flight was landing, with a smile on her- I don't need Em to make me feel better!!