Dealing with "them"

Well dealing with parents is harder than I thought! Here is what I think- they are leading a what is seemingly static life and since we have undergone so many changes, it hard for both of us to come to a state of agreement! Somehow I am very different from them or so I think. When and how this dichotomy happened- but it seems to have, I am quite diffferent than they are. The problem though lies in the fact that they are oblivious to this- they do not see that I am different- for good or for bad , that is a different issue altogether now, isnt it? They think I am this 2 year old who requires constant attention and care. Anything that I do or say does not seem to do much, in fact it ends up in an argument. So I let them give me all the care and attention!!
Something that my mum asked me made me really think about this- she asked me something like "so you dont need me?" And I was taken aback, did not know how to answer- ofcourse I dont need her, why would I need her? I was not sure what to answer- if I said yes that would be a lie, if I said no she would feel bad!!!
So anyway, I am sure one day I will figure out how to tell them that I am an adult now and was for a long time and that they should slowly disengage from all that they do for me and start doing stuff for themselves...they have done more than what needs to be done and I am thankful for that. It is my turn now to make sure they do things that they might have put off because they were caring for me all these years!!!