Elusive

I toss and turn. I turn the fan on and 5 minutes later I turn it off. I quickly notice a stream of tears. I close my eyes.

I see her limpless, lifeless body on a puddle of blood. I am crying and screaming, while people stand around me and watch on.

I delve deeper and strain harder  to understand the events that transpired. The explanation remains elusive, it has been for the last, soon to be 13 years.

I am in and out of consciousness on a hospital bed. Everyone I dearly love in a state of shock, frantically looking for answers.

I remained numb, that day in the hospital and the day I was told that she was gone, she did not make it. The cheerful one, the kind one, the fighter who made through several other death traps decided to quit, decided to give up.

She would have been 30 today- Happy Birthday ma petite soeur douce.

Taken Over...

 

Image source is this blog here

I cannot believe I had once vowed to never step into the computer centers at BITS- neither to check emails on that UNIX machine nor to do my coursework (yes, it got quite out of hand and I did land on the infamous notice board!). Today when the Harvard network was down, leaving us all without any access to the world outside for about 29 minutes, I was amused by my own reactions. I had to find out what was going on, why all of a sudden things went wrong- had to find out when will I get my world back. It was quite early in the morning for our lab and people were just strolling in, booting their computers up- I go "aha! I am not alone, soon these people would be join me in my frenzy" but they seemed unfazed by it. I begin to wonder may be something was wrong with my machine and that drove me even crazier.

Well after enough dramatizations, 2 coffees down the throat- I sensed relief, I mean I could feel it. And there it was- I was back on people!

Tell me how much has the world wide web changed your world, do you believe we are in fact all that global as we claim to be?

Savithiri Satyavan

... well Satyavan is her husband's name. In South India, Savithiri's successful endeavor of bringing her Satyavan back from Yama's grip is celebrated as Karadayan Nonbu. Apparently she knew she was going to die young, yet she marries him. We celebrate this festival for the husbands or husbands-to-be, womenfolk fast the entire day and break their fast with the delectable adais/cakes.

Agreed this mythological character was devoted to her husband and as the story goes her devotion (पति वृथा ) is what brought him back to life. Okay but there is more to her than just a dutiful, unfaltering wife. She was a STRONG, CLEVER and WITTY woman. Should'nt we be celebrating her for just THAT?

Image from Omaha Habitat

May be more of her story might make it clear to you as to why she should also be celebrated (see, I am being generous- I said "also").

Anyway-

Savithiri born to King Ashwapathi, decided to find a husband for herself (1). Her search leads her to a forest where she meets Satyavan, son of Dyumatsen, a king who had lost everything. Even though Satyavan had only another year to live, Savithiri married him (2).  She lived in the forest with her husband and his parents. The day that Satyavan was presumably going to die, Savithiri went along with her husband to chop wood. She decided to go without food that day. Yama, Lord of Death, finally descends in the evening and takes Satyavan with him. Savithiri follows them- Yama tells her that she cannot follow beyond a certain point. 
Depending on where you hear the story, Yama grants either one or three boons to Savithiri. Nevertheless, Yama blesses her with children and Savithiri says "Oh dear lord, you blessed me with children but how can I have them if you take my husband with you"- Yama pleased by her devotion and wit grants Satyavan his life back (3).


There you have it


(1) She was confident enough to make her own decisions. PARENTS TAKE NOTE!
(2) She was gutsy and she decided to be responsible for her actions
(3) She was smart, clever and witty


Without her Satyavan would have been long gone! So are these good enough for us to celebrate this festival in HER name?! Just asking...

A cool crisp morning

I love such mornings- I walk out the door expecting it to be cold and freezing (it is November already!), but lo and behold- it was a beautiful cool crisp morning. It was very refreshing and I felt awake the moment the cool breeze hit my moisturizer-laden face! It brought back memories of my time in Delhi, it used to be fun getting into a crisp white shirt (crisp as how this morning seemed) and a green skirt accessorized with a tie, a half-sweater and what then seemed like a beautiful green blazer/ woolen coat. It also took me back to Pilani where while summers were dreadful (I would even skip classes to stay indoors), the winters were just absolutely forgiving. It was fun when you could not see what was just a few yards away in front of you while you were riding your bicycle because a severe fog had rolled in that morning. Occasionally, I even rode the bicycle with my book open, as a last ditch effort at cramming for an 8'o clock exam.
Anyway it already feels like Friday today, I don't know why but it beats me that tomorrow I have to get to work but hey may be it will be just as pretty it was this morning!

Chennai mazhai

My mom has been growing her own betel leaves (she loves them like they are her own).

Rain beautiful rain in Chennai- you know what I love about it most and what I wish I could photograph- மண் வாசனை, I remember when I was a little girl (actually even now..) I constantly pester my mom to make me something that smelled like the earth just before it rains!

Criminal wastage of precious rain water in Chennai- people are not concerned about it nor do they care (well neither does the Govt., useless TN government).

These are my grandma's favorite flowers (it has been her favorite for the longest time now), I forget what they are called (she has a name for it). Since they are patti's favorite they are my favorite too! Look at how luscious it is, oh the bright green and the pink flowers...